Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
