All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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