Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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