Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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