Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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