Umm I'm too high to move.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
