Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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