Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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