If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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