I'm going to jail i love you
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
