Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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