every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
