Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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