Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
