Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
