I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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