Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize