I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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