Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
