I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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