TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
