tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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