the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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