well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
