don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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