How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
