Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
