In the future we'll all be gay
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
