just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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