here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
