am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
