Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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