are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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