every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I think i got beer on your cat.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize