Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
