I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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