why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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