This girl is more easily done than said...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
