I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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