What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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