we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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