'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
