It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
