Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize