Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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