South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
even my farts smell like vagina
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
