I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
