I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
