We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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