she kept yelling 'call me bella'
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
