Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize