so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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