Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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