Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I enjoy the company of your penis
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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