Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
