Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
