omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
