I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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