Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
