sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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