1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
